DAY 54: The Last Supper

I went home last night – eager to dismiss the pandemonium looming over Cyprus; I was hoping to transform my melancholy to happiness by surrendering my emotions to a cluster of cupcakes, waiting for me on the kitchen table. The celebrations continued into the night as my mobile phone alerted me to an on-going string of messages from around the globe. 

My service provider generously credited my account with additional talk-time; a wonderful birthday gesture acknowledging my existence, and a means to generate more wealth into their monstrous bank account.

TGI Fridays personally called me to offer a significant discount on my next meal, provided that the visit was within five days of my birthday.

After speaking to my brother-in-law this morning, he encouraged me to take advantage of Friday’s offer; after all, it could be our own “last supper” – one final opportunity to consume steak before the country’s collapse.  Unfortunately, the Cypriot crisis continues to control the media scene, and the fact that Monday is a public holiday certainly places restrictions on our care-free weekend spending habits.  Whatever cash we have managed to strip from the local ATMs, should be stored in a vault and guarded by a twenty-four-hour surveillance team.

I’ve been informed that after twelve years of hard work and sacrifice, my provident fund is to be seized by the government and used to credit the bad debt in our banks.   As a consolation, the Cyprus government believes that a piece of paper, offering me shares in our natural gas reserves, will warrant this “daylight robbery.”

I’m off to the ATM again, hoping to withdraw the last of my hard-earned pennies.  The daily withdrawal limit has been reduced to € 260; an adequate amount to keep us going through the long weekend, and treat the family to a birthday dinner at Fridays.  

Weight for me tomorrow. Paul

Paul Lambis is the author of “Where is Home?” – A journey of hilarious contrasts.  For more information on Paul Lambis, and to order his book online,
visit www.paul-lambis.com