DAY 5: Tsunami

It’s no secret that I have an obsession for London.  Almost every member in my family avoids the topic (in my presence) as I will inadvertently spend the next hour chanting about how London is simply, “my favourite place on earth.”

London.  The word itself evokes feelings of excitement, grandeur, surprise and mental stimulation.  A simple visit to Notting Hill on a Saturday morning will confirm these emotions; colourful vendors line the streets selling everything from antiques and Victorian souvenirs to caramelised chestnuts and Italian pastries, swallowed by a creamy filling of almond, marzipan and custard. 
And if you decide to capture this contagious world through your digital camera, you will notice a recurring pattern of history, art, colour, royalty and the most diverse variety of mouth-watering foods. 

So why am I talking about London?  Besides the fact that I am thinking of my beautiful getaway 24/7, I received a message last night from an acclaimed producer in London who has confirmed the ‘Paul Lambis Comedy Shows’ for June 2013. 
“I’m going to London… I’m going to London…”
Forgive my childish tune, but the thought of performing my shows in this majestic part of the world, has me soaring.

I have entered the fifth day of my diet with faultless commitment.  My wife has recently discovered that the combination of cherry tomatoes, parmesan shavings, olive oil, Greek oregano and balsamic vinegar has become a favourable sideline for my dinner.  It’s normally accompanied by a sensible portion of grilled chicken breast or poached fish. 

But the thought of London frightens me.  I’ve realised that every time I visit, food was the key ingredient to my journey.  In fact, our recent holiday included a ‘tsunami’ of steak and Guinness pies, fish and chips, mushy peas, sponge cake from Tescos, grilled bacon strips from Marks and Spencer, nachos and cheeseburgers from Planet Hollywood on Heygate Street, spaghetti and garlic bread from Strada, German sausages from Winter Wonderland in Hyde Park, shortbread biscuits from the Buckingham Palace shop, paella from Covent Garden Market, red liquorice from the candy shop on Ludgate Hill…

It’s an indescribable feeling.  Your sense of smell is on high alert in London whenever you pass a food establishment.  After a generous breakfast, you will find yourself sipping on a warm cup of soup at ten in the morning, and a gorgeous mature cheese sandwich an hour later – knowing that you have scheduled a luncheon appointment at the Blackfriar's pub at 2pm.
It’s this ‘tsunami’ that scares me.  My diet seems to be going well at the moment and I have to put on my army gear as I prepare myself for my son’s birthday tomorrow; a double-layered vanilla and chocolate chiffon cake with hazelnut chocolate filling and cheesy pizzas with mushrooms and ham, all within reach.
But if I maintain my diet until June, perhaps I could reward myself after the shows?  How much damage can I do to my figure in one week? 
My wife continues to shine the light of reality in my face:  “After six months of strict dieting, you won’t want to subject yourself to overeating.”
She does have a point, but I’m going to have to cross that bridge when I get there.

At the moment, I have to face the challenge of surviving my son’s thirteenth birthday luncheon tomorrow. I’ve warned The Three Tenors to behave in public.  After all, what goes on behind closed doors can remain a secret, but in the presence of all my family and their ensemble of photographic cameras, breaking the diet is risky business.

“I’m going to London… I’m going to London…”
 
Weight for me tomorrow. Paul

Paul Lambis is the author of “Where is Home?” – A journey of hilarious contrasts.  

For more information on Paul Lambis, and to order his book online, visit www.paul-lambis.com