DAY 31: Time of the Month

It’s that time of the month again. I’m ignoring the unsolved mystery that almost all the women at work have synchronised their menstrual cycles, but I’m referring to the unfortunate condition which arises at the end of every month; low cash reserves, cupboards and fridges at home appear uninhabited, and your car is yearning for that extra fuel injection which will raise the petrol gage to the halfway mark.

I stormed out of the house this morning, thinking about my recent experience with the frigid customer consultant at the bank.  I was not going to let her vile character affect my mood, but my stomach was working hard at reminding me of the emptiness within, and how a warm cinnamon bun could cure the problem instantly.

Despite the gloomy mood which seems to be dangling above my desk like a large cumulus cloud, I am determined to maintain my focus, and work my way through the copious list of pending matters.  The problem though, is that I am constantly thinking of food and a good flask of strong filtered coffee.

Today’s menu includes a small portion of grilled chicken, basted in a low-fat chutney sauce.  My wife complains that I am not consuming enough vegetables, so I have asked her to prepare a large serving of broccoli, smothered in cheese sauce.  Her response was typically female (if you will permit me); a disgruntled gaze and a swift, discontented nod of disapproval. Time of the month?

In my book Where is Home? – A Journey of Hilarious Contrasts, I refer to money and its inability to acquire health.  Regrettably, at the end of every month, I will insist that a lack of cash, presents a hurdle of medical conditions; depression, anxiety, stress, anger – all of these which inspire one to eat. 

Suddenly, I am aware of a symphony of disgruntled voices beating against my ears; The Three Tenors are in full soprano, Hansel and Gretel are squealing unbearably, and it seems that all the female co-workers are reprising a ‘frustrated mega-bitch’ performance.

I despise this time of the month.

Weight for me tomorrow. Paul

Paul Lambis is the author of “Where is Home?” – A journey of hilarious contrasts.  For more information on Paul Lambis, and to order his book online,
visit www.paul-lambis.com