DAY 68: Heavy Cargo

There are discriminatory rumours floating around cyberspace referring to heavier passengers being charged “extra” for their love handles.  And if this proposal is accepted by the “International Air and Transport Association,” then I’m in for a costly ride. 

The “pay-as-you-weigh” pricing scheme has been mooted by a Norwegian professor, who argues that weight and space should be taken into account by airlines pricing their tickets.

"Charging according to weight and space is a universally accepted principle, not only in transportation, but also in other services," he said.

"As weight and space are far more important in aviation than other modes of transport, airlines should take this into account when pricing their tickets."

My internet research led me to several sites mentioning the professor’s proposal.  Moreover, one of my work colleagues – whose husband happens to be a pilot for a reputable European airline – confirmed the importance of weight-monitoring on an airplane; extra kilograms on board would require additional jet fuel, leading to carbon dioxide emissions and an increase in financial costs.

The airline industry – fraught with financial difficulties – reflects a marginal profit line, and has seen exponential growth in the last decade. It was only a matter of time before my body would be treated as a package, ready to be shipped off by the courier company.

When Samoa Airlines announced its “pay-by-the-kilo” policy in January, I doubt it expected to set off an international controversy about fat discrimination.

But that’s exactly what happened when news seeped out after the airline’s chief executive, Chris Langton, told ABC News radio in Australia that the system is not only fair but destined to catch on.

“Doesn’t matter whether you’re carrying freight or people,” explained Langton. "We’ve amalgamated the two and worked out a figure per kilo. Booking a flight with us is as easy as inputting your approximate weight into our online booking engine – don’t worry, we’ll weigh you again at the airport. Take as many or as few bags as you wish, and avoid the inflated excess baggage fees, With Samoa Air, you are the master of how much (or little) your air ticket will cost.”

I can honestly admit that anyone who says “Don’t worry” when they’re talking about weighing me at an airport, will never get my business. Not at my current weight, anyway.

My recent trip to London on a “budget airline,” saw my entire family holding up the queue as we mathematically coordinated our luggage contents from one bag to the other, attempting to meet the individual fifteen kilogram limit.  I tried to conceal the humiliation as my wife exhibited my oversized briefs to an exasperated line of passengers; I’m almost certain there’s a child out there who is scarred for life, following that incident.

If the airline’s stickiness over those few extra kilos warranted the entire clan to work synchronously on a ‘mathematics exercise’, I wonder what is expected from the group when I rise to the challenge of a public weigh in.

If the unfortunate “pay-as-you-weigh” pricing scheme is enforced, I will have to face the challenge of drastic weight loss, or consider myself “heavy cargo” and pay the irrational price.

Weight for me tomorrow. Paul

Paul Lambis is the author of “Where is Home?” – A journey of hilarious contrasts. 
For more information on Paul Lambis, and to order his book online,
visit www.paul-lambis.com