DAY 7: Fear Factor

My sister challenged me to an enthralling game of ten pin bowling.  Our typical Sunday turned out to be a comical circus act, watched by an intense group of amused fans. 

Why intense?  What appeared to be a simple and familiar turf (one which we played on religiously as children), transformed into a gruelling and never-ending round of exercise.  My sister and I stared at each other surprisingly as we continued to play our game, breaking out into an uncontrollable stream of sweat.  Our children seemed to play the same game effortlessly before us, but the mere thought of carrying the bowling ball to the frontline made us hesitate. Have we really aged so much to the extent that a simple game of bowling was now considered a laborious sport?

I’ve seriously decided to include a strict exercise routine into my diet programme (as from tomorrow).  I did not comment on my previous attempt on sit-ups – that did not end very well.  Even my wife remarked this morning that I need to become more active (on a daily basis) as this is my last year before I enter the forth decade of my presence on this peculiar planet.

Could she be talking about having sex every day?

I was reading a comment sent to me by a reader.  He suggested that having a piece of cake at my son’s birthday was not “cheating,” but simply “living.”

Well, despite my persistent attempts to avoid a slice of heaven, I submitted to my cravings and thoroughly enjoyed a piece.  My mother even justified my actions by saying, “it’s your son’s birthday, so go on and have some cake!”

I don’t know which was worse: the orgasmic sounds which emerged from my mouth as I savoured every bite, or the feeling of guilt which overpowered me for the rest of the weekend. 

Today marked the conclusion of seven trying days of dieting.  Despite yesterday’s hiccup, I am feeling confident that tomorrow’s reading (on the scale) will prove me lighter and more determined to carry on.  It’s time to work hard now, to prove to the simple folk that a game of ten pin bowling is not as difficult as surviving fifteen minutes in a snake pit on Fear Factor.

Weight for me tomorrow. Paul

Paul Lambis is the author of “Where is Home?” – A journey of hilarious contrasts.  

For more information on Paul Lambis, and to order his book online, visit www.paul-lambis.com