My father would often compare my eating habits to a slot machine: “Everything going in and nothing coming out.”
As a child, I would ignore this remark – holding his obsession for casinos responsible for the outbursts. But if my father had visited this afternoon, his comment would not have been in vain.
This is the sixth consecutive day I’ve been under ‘house arrest’, following my doctor’s orders for a speedy recovery. Despite the temptations of escaping with my car and heading for the coast, I’ve maintained my couch potato status, transforming myself into a repulsive hermit; befitting for the upcoming carnival celebrations.
If I had the power, I would rewind the clock and confess my sins to a local priest: “Forgive me Father, I have sinned...I’ve spent most of today eating as if it was my last day on earth.”
I started my morning with an adequate breakfast – a bowl of oats with low fat milk: 120 calories.
The mid-morning hunger cries returned as The Three Tenors appeared after their long absence. We were singing joyfully together as I met their needs with a slice of apple pie: 250 calories
By lunchtime, my three monstrous invaders were singing for last night’s leftovers – Spaghetti Bolognaise: 500 calories
My wife returned from her errands, offering me a bowl of diced fruit; I felt no remorse for this serving. Dinner arrived with a hearty meal of grilled pork kebab, pita bread and Greek yoghurt: 500 calories
The slot machine continued to add my contributions well into the early evening, totalling up my losses to 1500 calories; there were no signs of a possible payout.
As a result of my excessive eating, my moods have been inconsistent. I’m finding it difficult to maintain a smile on my face, when The Three Tenors are wide awake, reminding me of the blissful selection of chocolate covered biscuits in the cupboard.
Goodnight my friends, it’s going to be an early night. I can’t afford any more losses.
Weight for me tomorrow. Paul
Paul Lambis is the author of “Where is Home?” – A journey of hilarious contrasts. For more information on Paul Lambis, and to order his book online,
visit www.paul-lambis.com
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