Wednesday, 15 May 2013

DAY 107: The Truth about Exercise

Dr. Michael Mosley has created a series of PBS specials analysing recent scientific findings regarding health. His most recent documentary titled “The Truth about Exercise” exposed some intriguing findings that are not common knowledge even among health and medical professionals. One of the findings in particular illuminated the advantages of health products like the TrekDesk Treadmill Desk.

Three core discoveries were detailed in the show.
First, one size does not fit all when it comes to exercise. In fact there are genetic variations that explain why some individuals never seem to outwardly benefit from a strict exercise regimen while others seem to benefit from much less. Individuals non-responsive to exercise have hope however which was offered in the following two truths.

Second truth: three 20 second bursts of extreme cardiovascular exercise three times a week may be all most individuals need to lower levels of blood lipids, glucose and cholesterol while increasing aerobic capacity. While this seems contrary to every exercise tip ever read in a health magazine it has to be taken in context with the third truth listed below to be effective.

Truth number three: overall health and longevity is dependent upon continually daily movement. As long as one stays moving throughout the day their body and mind have a much greater opportunity to remain healthy. The challenge is finding opportunities and strategies that can keep an ever growing sedentary population in motion.
“A very small percentage of Americans exercise on a regular basis citing lack of time and motivation,” stated Steve Bordley, CEO of TrekDesk Treadmill Desk. “As long as we keep our bodies moving and stay out of chairs the amount of additional intense exercise needed to maintain health is actually quite small regardless of current weight or age. These findings should encourage many who have given up on exercise entirely out of frustration or boredom.”

Designed to fit any existing treadmill, TrekDesk treadmill desk is an affordable, full sized, height adjustable workstation that allows individuals the opportunity to gain the necessary amount of daily exercise to lose weight, maintain health, reduce stress, prevent disease, strengthen muscles, boost mood and productivity, without requiring additional time during the day or extra motivation.

To learn more about “The Truth about Exercise”: http://www.kpbs.org/news/2013/apr/08/truth-about-exercise-michael-mosley/

Weight for me tomorrow. Paul

Paul Lambis is the author of “Where is Home?” – A journey of hilarious contrasts. 
For more information on Paul Lambis, and to order his book online,
visit www.paul-lambis.com

Tuesday, 14 May 2013

DAY 106: The Gospel Untruth

In 2003, American author Dan Brown had his second book published, called The Da Vinci Code. It quickly became a best seller around the world and a Hollywood blockbuster with an Oscar-winning director and actor was soon released.

Both the book and the movie were hugely successful financially, and even though some literary masters really criticized the way Brown actually wrote, there is no doubt that it was his subject matter which really caused the hugest stir. According to the premise of the book, Leonardo da Vinci was not only a member of a secret Catholic sect, but he also painted Mary Magadelene into his world-famous “Last Supper;” this is vital to the story because it sets up the premise that Jesus Christ was in fact married to Mary Magdalene, she was pregnant with his child when he was crucified and that she escaped persecution by the ruling Romans, by fleeing to present day Marseilles in France, where she gave birth to Sarah, daughter of Christ and also originator of the French Merovingian Royal Family.

If one looks at the actual story of The Da Vinci Code, it centers around the murder of Louvre Museum curator, Jacques Sauniere, whose body is found naked and posed like da Vinci’s epic ‘Vitruvian Man’ drawing, with a cryptic message written next to his body and a pentacle drawn on his stomach with his own blood.

The main characters, symbologist Robert Langdon and cryptographer Sophie Neveu (conveniently also Sauniere’s estranged granddaughter) then take readers on a journey of physical, artistic and religious discovery. It turns out that the curator is in fact a Grand Master of the Priory of Scion, an ancient secret society dedicated to keeping certain vital secrets of Christianity, which if uncovered, could bring doubt into the faith and cause global religious turmoil.

The controversy of the book, lies in the fact that Dan Brown tried to pass off his fiction novel as something containing truth; evidenced when he stated during an interview in 2003 that, “Absolutely all of the novel” actually happened. In the same year, he was interviewed by CNN’s Martin Savidge, who asked him directly how much of the historical background was actually based on fact. “Ninety nine percent of it; the background is all true.” He further claimed that the novel is factual when speaking to Elizabeth Vargas in an ABC News special; she asked him if the book would have been the same if it had been published as a work of non-fiction or if it would have been different. “No,” he affirmed, “I don’t think it would have been different.”

Brown may have held back later from such bold statements, but he had never actually said that the book wasn’t all fiction. So what is it exactly about The Da Vinci Code that has lead to all these questions and has called into doubt many tenets of Christian belief? First and foremost, the novel quite openly states that Mary Magdalene herself, pregnant with Christ’s child, is the actual Holy Grail, as she is the bearer of the descendent of God’s Son, while a secret sect called the Priory of Scion hid, and is still responsible for hiding, Mary Magdalene’s physical relics as well as ancient documents proving Mary’s existence as an actual Hebrew princess.

Apparently Mary was purposely discredited by authorities as a prostitute as they didn’t want to add further support for her either as Christ’ wife or as bearer of his Holy offspring. With regards to the novel, it claims that Leonardo da Vinci, as well as Sir Isaac Newton were in fact members of the Priory of Scion and knew about Mary Magdalene’s status as the Holy Grail.

The book therefore supports a theory that the Catholic Church and much of mainstream Christianity has hidden the true identity of Christ and Mary Magdalene. It also suggests that the gospels in the Bible are not historically accurate, with the Catholic Church instrumental in hiding about eighty other gospels which promote other versions of Christ’s life.

The Da Vinci Code even says that the early church did not actually hold true that Jesus Christ was indeed the real Son of God and it actually voted for him to be portrayed as such at the vital religious Council of Nicaea in the fourth century.

If one examines these claims though and delves into theological resources, experts and opinions, there is an overwhelming consensus and agreement by church authorities that Dan Brown’s novel is in fact a complete work of fiction. According to one source, the theory that the core beliefs of Christianity had not been formulated until the Council of Nicaea is impossible, as the New Testament clearly show a definite understanding of orthodoxy and the core beliefs of Christianity. In fact, by the time the Council of Nicaea took place, Christianity, with its faith and belief system had already been established. Brown’s claim in the book that Christ’s status as the Son of God was called into question is a complete twisting of the truth as only two of the bishops chose to contest it. The Bible itself also clearly states in Matthew, Mark, Luke, Peter, John, James and Paul that Jesus is the Son of God and our Salvation is through the Christian faith.

With regards to other secrets, that Christianity has conspired to keep covered up, these include the Gnostic Gospels, which are apparently a range of over eighty hidden gospels, not included in the Bible, which are said to reveal and explain amongst other things, the status of Mary Magdalene as Christ’s wife, mother of his child as well as a Hebrew princess. In his book, Brown claims that the Church knew of all these gospels but only chose the four which most suited them. Again, the truth is that there are two collections of religious scriptures; one is called the ‘Nag Hammadi Library,’ consisting of a total of forty five titles. This library has been said to be the best resource on biblical history and the titles in this library are definitely not all gospels. The second collection is called ‘The Gnostic Scriptures’ and of its forty works, only three are titled ‘Gospel’.

Proof yet again that Brown has taken Biblical and religious history and twisted it somewhat to suit his novel, which would be perfectly acceptable surely if he didn’t claim quite so boldly that everything in the novel is true. Even the secret sect of The Priory of Scion was proved to be a hoax, made up by someone in the 1940s.

While there is no denying that The Da Vinci Code makes for an exciting read and allows readers to explore the world of fantasy and art quite exquisitely, it should be remembered that perhaps the author was overzealous in promoting his novel as Gospel Truth. After all, one can hardly argue and dispute facts and proof which are over two thousand years old.

Weight for me tomorrow. Paul

Paul Lambis is the author of “Where is Home?” – A journey of hilarious contrasts. 
For more information on Paul Lambis, and to order his book online,
visit www.paul-lambis.com

Monday, 13 May 2013

DAY 105: Royalty – and a touch of Silver

LEGACY MAGAZINE CYPRUS online: http://legacy-magazine.eu/funny-that-royalty-and-a-touch-of-silver/

It was the 29thof April, 2011.  The bells of Westminster Abbey were playing joyfully as Kate Middleton stepped outside the cathedral, holding onto the arm of her dashing prince.  Tens of millions watched worldwide. Thousands of spectators lined lawns in downtown London, waving placards and holding flowers, jostling each other to catch the slightest glance of the newlyweds. Others shed tears of joy over a glimpse of the splendour Britain maintains as a regal and respected nation.

For most in the crowd, it did not matter if they knew the bride or groom personally. A living symbol of Britain’s power and history was married. An heir could now be produced and the nation’s stately lineage continued.

The pomp and circumstance of the event, royal protocol, lavish accommodations, ornate preparations, VIP guests, designer hats and pageantry, captured the fascination of millions.  But why is the world fascinated with the royals, and what sets them apart from us regular folk?

A research study shows that the majority of the world’s population believes their fascination with royalty stems from a ‘culture of celebrity’.  We are swiftly moving into a time of when just about anybody can become a celebrity – and royalty is clearly a celebrity.  So when major events come along such as the royal wedding, the world joins in momentarily to relieve them from their dreary lives.

Most of the royal houses of Europe exercise no political power, and their sheer presence is associated with ceremonial duty and nothing more.  It’s my opinion that the British Monarchy has survived for many years, largely due to their interest in supporting a great number of charities, using their ‘celebrity statuses’ as draw cards to generate revenue for their associations; and why not?

Monarchy has sometimes been described as an expensive institution, with royal finances shrouded in confusion and secrecy.  Research shows the cost of maintaining the royals, and in this case the British Monarchy, sets the average taxpayer less than seventy pence a year – hardly an exorbitant amount that will cause a dent in the pocket.

Associating the royals with the world’s celebrities is one thing, but classing them as ‘blue-blooded’ is another.  As a child, I recall naively asking my teacher if the royals literally had blue blood, despite the knowledge that the human body is circulated by approximately thirty-five trillion red blood cells.

It was the Spaniards who gave the world the notion that an aristocrat’s blood is not red but blue. The Spanish nobility started taking shape around the ninth century in classic military fashion, occupying land as warriors on horseback. They were to continue the process for more than five hundred years, clawing back sections of the peninsula from its Moorish occupiers. A nobleman would demonstrate his pedigree by holding up his sword arm to display the filigree of blue-blooded veins beneath his pale skin – proof that his birth had not been contaminated by the dark-skinned enemy.

The  European aristocracy always admired paleness – Queen Elizabeth I used to cover her face with white powder, allowing her veins to appear blue under her skin, hence the notion that the idle high-born have blue blood.

Another theory to the ‘blue-bloodedness’, dates back to Alexander the Great, and the side effects of Colloidal Silver.

Colloidal Silver was known to persons of high rank including kings, emperors, czars and sultans. These people ate their food from silver cutlery, plates and bowls, and drank their liquids from silver goblets and chalices. As a result of their eating practices, small amounts of silver were ingested into their bodies over an extended period, immunising them against most viruses and bacterial infections – simultaneously turning their blood into a slightly blue colour. The common people never had the luxury of being able to eat from expensive dinnerware and, as a result, were frequently sick and prone to a host of infections. Those fortunate enough to have the luxury of eating from silver dinnerware afforded them the freedom of sickness.

The use of Colloidal Silver is not new.  Silver has been used as a disinfectant for thousands of years. It dates back to Alexander the Great, who lined drinking water bottles with the metal for the disinfection and sanitation of water. The Egyptians used silver in a thin paper product to wrap around wounds. At the turn of the century, Colloidal Silver was considered an invaluable medicine, and reintroduced into the industrial and medical arena.

So why is the world fascinated with the royals?  Despite their ‘celebrity’ or ‘blue-blooded’ status, I remain spellbound by their discovery of Colloidal Silver. I am hopeful that its healing properties will introduce an element of pomp and glamour for those who may need it.

Weight for me tomorrow. Paul

Paul Lambis is the author of “Where is Home?” – A journey of hilarious contrasts. 
For more information on Paul Lambis, and to order his book online,
visit www.paul-lambis.com

Sunday, 12 May 2013

DAY 104: The Delight of Cyprus

It may be known in some places as Turkish Delight, but much to the dismay of our neighbours to the north, the town of Geroskipou in the greater Pafos region is the proud and legal, owner of the name “Loukoumi Geroskipou” which while the same thing as the Turkish Delight sweet, is guaranteed by the European Union’s Protected Geographical Indication.

Not only was it the first Cypriot made product to receive this protection (Halloumi cheese has also since been awarded a PGI) but the town of Geroskipou has also entered the Guinness Book of Records for making the world’s biggest Loukoumi, beating the previous effort made by a Turkish Australian.

When it comes to what the Loukoumi Geroskipou actually is, it is described as a soft, chewy, sugar-powder covered cubical sweet, either with or without nuts, but excluding any additives.
Ingredients include sugar, corn flour, starch, water, almonds and different fruit aromas, with the original loukoumia were rose-flavoured as the makers used to boil the fragrant rose petals which were growing wild in the surrounding fields. The rose petals were then boiled and the resultant moisture was collected; all the while, the ingredients were added together in a large cauldron of boiling water and constantly stirred until for a few hours at least, until it became smooth and creamy. Once the mixture had cooled down, the rose essence was added for flavour and the complete mixture was then poured into wooden boxes where it was left overnight to cool down completely. The final part of making loukoumia involved cutting the slabs into sugary cubes and packing them into boxes to be sold.

In today’s production of the Loukoumi Geroskipou, mostly by a family who have been making the sweets for over a hundred years, the flavours extend to more than just rose essence and in fact are primarily the only part of the process which are not original as most are artificial. These flavours include rose as already mentioned, strawberry, mandarin, orange, mint, pineapple, bergamot, banana, lemon, pistachio, mastic, vanilla, chocolate and coconut. While they may be artificial at present, according to the European Union application for product protection, the intention is to replace certain flavours with more natural ingredients.

The procedure to get any product protected as indigenous by the European Union has to be strictly followed and in this case, the Loukoumi Geroskipou application was made by the Ministry of Commerce, Industry and Tourism for the family company which has been producing these delicious sweets for over a hundred years, Aphrodite Delights in Geroskipou. According to the official application, “since its establishment in 1895, the applicant company has – without interruption – performed all stages of the production process within the boundaries of the Geroskipou Municipality, in accordance with all the obligations imposed by the national regulatory framework. Today the applicant company is the only company producing Loukoumi Geroskipou in the defined area. Any producer in the defined area has the right to produce the product in accordance with the specifications and the obligations imposed by the national regulatory framework.”

Legal language aside, what this really means is that the Loukoumi in Cyprus can only be produced in the Geroskipou region and only according to the method described in the legal application document. It should be understood though that this does not mean that any other country cannot make and sell the way they have been making their versions until now, for example in Turkey, Greece and some of the Balkans. It just means that the Cypriot product must be made in the Cypriot way and in the region in which it originated.

To maintain the high levels and standards which are expected from all ethnic products protected by the European Union, the manufacturing procedure obviously has to be monitored and constantly checked. For the Loukoumi Geroskipou this is undertaken by the Agriculture section of the Ministry of Agriculture, Natural Resources and Environment which regularly examines the extent to which the specifications are met and checks that the sweet actually comes from the defined geographical area.

Apparently, to ensure that the production methods and quality of the product are adhered to, according to the acceptance specifications, the Agricultural Ministry has to check that the following methods are completed absolutely correctly; the ingredients and their proportions are right, the stirring temperature, the stirring duration and even how many times the mixture is turned.

Once the mixture has been properly stirred, it is poured into the cooling boxes after which it is coated and cut and then placed into its packaging. Again, part of the legal protection process means that all stages of production, cutting and packaging have to be carried out in the producer’s premises, which in this case must also be within the defined geographical area of the Geroskipou Municipality. The primary reason for the insistence of this location specification, is to avoid any risk of contamination, because if the mixture is transported unpackaged it could be susceptible to any kind of germs. The other reason it needs to be made in one place is because the actual journey and a fluctuating temperature would make the loukoumi harder to cut, thereby changing the characteristic texture of the sweet, especially increasing its water content.

Geroskipou’s sweet goes back all the way to 1895 when Sophocles Athanasiou started to make the loukoumi today legally associated with the region and since that day, it has been made in exactly the same way, with the recipe and the sweet secret of its success handed down from generation to generation, with the same family still responsible for Loukoumi Geroskipou.

In fact, if one has to look at evidence in books written from the time production started until the present day, there is enough proof to show that the region is synonymous with the sweet. According to the official European Union documentation, renowned Greek novelist Nikos Kazantzakis (he wrote Zorba the Greek) mentions it in his book “Travelling” which was published in 1926, while 1962 saw Ioannis Panagiatopoulos’ book “Cyprus – a Journey” mention Loukoumi Geroskipou. English author William Forwood talks about ‘this fine produce from Geroskipou’ in his book “Cyprus Invitation.” In fact, Loukoumi Geroskipou was even awarded a certificate of honour at the British Empire Exhibition which was held at Wembley Stadium all the way back in 1925.

The next time you’re having a drink and nibbling on one of Aphrodite’s Delights, savouring the sweet sensation of the soft, chewy pleasure of the Loukoumi Geroskipou, keep in mind that not only are you eating something which is legally protected by the European Union, you are also enjoying something which has been made exactly the same way for over a hundred years.
Another reason to delight in Cyprus.

Weight for me tomorrow. Paul

Paul Lambis is the author of “Where is Home?” – A journey of hilarious contrasts. 
For more information on Paul Lambis, and to order his book online,
visit www.paul-lambis.com

Saturday, 11 May 2013

DAY 103: The Chicken or the Egg

The chicken or the egg causality dilemma is commonly stated as "which came first, the chicken or the egg?"
To ancient philosophers, the question about the first chicken or egg also evoked the questions of how life and the universe in general began.
Cultural references to the chicken and egg intend to point out the futility of identifying the first case of a circular cause and consequence. It could be considered that in this approach lies the most fundamental nature of the question. A literal answer is somewhat obvious, as opposed to the logical fallacy of the metaphorical view, which sets a metaphysical ground on the dilemma. So, to understand its metaphorical meaning better, it could be reformulated as follows: "Which came first, X that can't come without Y, or Y that can't come without X?"
An equivalent situation arises in engineering and science known as circular reference, in which a parameter is required to calculate that parameter itself. Examples are Van der Waals equation and the famous Colebrook equation.

There are many real-world examples in which the chicken-or-egg question helps identify the analytical problem:

A graduate can't get a job because they have no experience, and can't get experience because no one will give them a job. (This is also an example of a Catch-22.)

Companies find it difficult to introduce new consumer media formats, such as audio recording formats. Most consumers won't buy players for the format until there are many recordings to play on those machines, but record companies won't offer most of their recordings in the new format until many customers have the players. The same scenario applies to video recording formats, video game console systems, and computer systems.

An actor cannot join the actor's union unless he has played a role in a union film, but a non-union actor cannot get a role in a union film because he isn't in the union.

In the popular Christmas song, it is stated that 'The Snowman brings the snow', but how did the Snowman originally get there?

Stephen Hawking and Christopher Langan argue that the egg came before the chicken, though the real importance of the question has faded since Darwin's ‘On the Origin of Species’ and the accompanying ‘Theory of Evolution’, under which the egg must have come first, assuming the question intended the egg to mean an egg in general or an egg that hatches into a chicken.

"Which came first, the chicken or the egg?" – you decide.

Weight for me tomorrow. Paul

Paul Lambis is the author of “Where is Home?” – A journey of hilarious contrasts. 
For more information on Paul Lambis, and to order his book online,
visit www.paul-lambis.com

Friday, 10 May 2013

DAY 102: Violent Gaming

The young men who opened fire at Columbine High School, at the movie theater in Aurora, Colo., and in other massacres had this in common: they were video gamers who seemed to be acting out some dark digital fantasy. It was as if all that exposure to computerised violence gave them the idea to go on a rampage — or at least fueled their urges. But did it really?

Social scientists have been studying and debating the effects of media violence on behaviour since the 1950s, and video games in particular since the 1980s. The issue is especially relevant today, because the games are more realistic and bloodier than ever, and because most boys play them at some point. Girls play at lower rates and are significantly less likely to play violent games.

A burst of new research has begun to clarify what can and cannot be said about the effects of violent gaming. Playing the games can and does stir hostile urges and mildly aggressive behaviour in the short term. Moreover, youngsters who develop a gaming habit can become slightly more aggressive — as measured by clashes with peers, for instance — at least over a period of a year or two.

Yet it is not at all clear whether, over longer periods, such a habit increases the likelihood that a person will commit a violent crime, like murder, rape, or assault, much less a Newtown-like massacre. (Such calculated rampages are too rare to study in any rigorous way, researchers agree.)

“I don’t know that a psychological study can ever answer that question definitively,” said Michael R. Ward, an economist at the University of Texas, Arlington. “We are left to glean what we can from the data and research on video game use that we have.”

The research falls into three categories: short-term laboratory experiments; longer-term studies, often based in schools; and correlation studies — between playing time and aggression, for instance, or between video game sales and trends in violent crime.

Lab experiments confirm what any gamer knows in his gut: playing games like “Call of Duty,” “Killzone 3” or “Battlefield 3” stirs the blood. In one recent study, Christopher Barlett, a psychologist at Iowa State University, led a research team that had 47 undergraduates play “Mortal Kombat: Deadly Alliance” for 15 minutes.  Afterward, the team took various measures of arousal, both physical and psychological. It also tested whether the students would behave more aggressively, by having them dole out hot sauce to a fellow student who, they were told, did not like spicy food but had to swallow the sauce.

Sure enough, compared with a group who had played a nonviolent video game, those who had been engaged in “Mortal Kombat” were more aggressive across the board. They gave their fellow students significantly bigger portions of the hot sauce.

Many similar studies have found the same thing: A dose of violent gaming makes people act a little more rudely than they would otherwise, at least for a few minutes after playing.

It is far harder to determine whether cumulative exposure leads to real-world hostility over the long term. Some studies in schools have found that over time digital warriors get into increasing numbers of scrapes with peers — fights in the schoolyard, for example. In a report published last summer, psychologists at Brock University in Ontario found that longer periods of violent video game playing among high school students predicted a slightly higher number of such incidents over time.

“None of these extreme acts, like a school shooting, occurs because of only one risk factor; there are many factors, including feeling socially isolated, being bullied, and so on,” said Craig A. Anderson, a psychologist at Iowa State University. “But if you look at the literature, I think it’s clear that violent media is one factor; it’s not the largest factor, but it’s also not the smallest.”

Most researchers in the field agree with Dr. Anderson, but not all of them. Some studies done in schools or elsewhere have found that it is aggressive children who are the most likely to be drawn to violent video games in the first place; they are self-selected to be in more schoolyard conflicts. And some studies are not able to control for outside factors, like family situation or mood problems.

“This is a pool of research that, so far, has not been very well done,” said Christopher J. Ferguson, associate professor of psychology and criminal justice at Texas A&M International University and a critic of the field whose own research has found no link. “I look at it and I can’t say what it means.”

Many psychologists argue that violent video games “socialise” children over time, prompting them to imitate the behaviour of the game’s characters, the cartoonish machismo, the hair-trigger rage, the dismissive brutality. Children also imitate flesh and blood people in their lives, of course — parents, friends, teachers, siblings — and one question that researchers have not yet answered is when, exactly, a habit is so consuming that its influence trumps the socialising effects of other major figures in a child’s life.

That is, what constitutes a bad habit? In surveys about 80 percent of high school-age boys say they play video games, most of which are thought to be violent, and perhaps a third to a half of those players have had a habit of 10 hours a week or more.

The proliferation of violent video games has not coincided with spikes in youth violent crime. The number of violent youth offenders fell by more than half between 1994 and 2010, to 224 per 100,000 population, according to government statistics, while video game sales have more than doubled since 1996.

In a working paper now available online, Dr. Ward and two colleagues examined week-by-week sales data for violent video games, across a wide range of communities. Violence rates are seasonal, generally higher in summer than in winter; so are video game sales, which peak during the holidays. The researchers controlled for those trends and analysed crime rates in the month or so after surges in sales, in communities with a high concentrations of young people, like college towns.

“We found that higher rates of violent video game sales related to a decrease in crimes, and especially violent crimes,” said Dr. Ward, whose co-authors were A. Scott Cunningham of Baylor University and Benjamin Engelstätter of the Centre for European Economic Research in Mannheim, Germany.

No one knows for sure what these findings mean. It may be that playing video games for hours every day keeps people off the streets who would otherwise be getting into trouble. It could be that the games provide “an outlet” that satisfies violent urges in some players — a theory that many psychologists dismiss but that many players believe.

Or the two trends may be entirely unrelated.

“At the very least, parents should be aware of what’s in the games their kids are playing,” Dr. Anderson said, “and think of it from a socialisation point of view: what kind of values, behavioural skills, and social scripts is the child learning?”

Weight for me tomorrow. Paul

Paul Lambis is the author of “Where is Home?” – A journey of hilarious contrasts. 
For more information on Paul Lambis, and to order his book online,
visit www.paul-lambis.com

Thursday, 9 May 2013

DAY 101: Fanatics

The definition of a “fanatic” is: a person whose enthusiasm or zeal for something is extreme or beyond normal limits.

Last night, as my wife and I tuned into the latest episode of “Ellen,” a loud screeching noise emerged from her (my wife’s) mouth following the announcement that Jon Bon Jovi was a guest on the show.  Upstairs, a similar cry indicated that my son had reached a new level on the “Assassins Creed” game; I remained still, sandwiched between two fanatics and their over obsessive affections.

During our courting years, it emerged that my wife suffered from a bizarre medical condition, and also felt compelled to outline one of her prerequisites to maintaining a healthy relationship.
Imitation jewellery could prompt a wild allergic reaction (in the form of a skin rash) throughout her entire body – only real jewels would suffice. And, if Jon Bon Jovi happened to include South Africa in an international tour, I would have to arrange front-row-tickets.

A romantic proposal at the local Chinese restaurant – sealed by an authentic blue-white diamond and pure gold wedding ring, reassured my wife that her medical needs were both heartfelt and acknowledged by her considerate prince.  And when it was proclaimed that Bon Jovi would be performing at the Johannesburg Stadium as part of their “Livin' on a Prayer” world tour, it was expected that I would be camped outside the box office securing our front-row-tickets to satisfy her obsession.
My resistance to sleeping on the floor on a public pavement and failure to secure prime seats, did not impress my then fiancĂ© who reminded me on the night of the show that the aisle was certainly “not ideal” for a Bon Jovi fan.

But the opening act mended the mood, and admittedly, we were both equally hyped up for the spectacle. 
The moment of truth had finally arrived; lights were dimmed, a mass of smoke overpowered the stage, the anticipation of the crowd waving their luminous bands in an organised, yet unsynchronised chaos.  And then, a familiar intro exploded towards us, emanating from the speakers…  The crowd began to cheer as one-by-one the band members took to the stage, positioning themselves behind their musical instruments; Jon Bon Jovi was nowhere in sight.
Suddenly, the stadium reverted to complete darkness until one spotlight, beamed its attention towards us.  Jon Bon Jovi appeared, standing next to my wife, reaching his hand out to hers – working his way down the aisle, through the crowds and onto the stage.
“He touched my hand!  He touched my hand!”

Needless to say, the evening was a success, with my wife boasting that Jon Bon Jovi was the only man who, through his own music, could understand her, reach out to her, speak to her…

As we continued to watch the “Ellen” show, I noticed my wife stretching her hand out, trying to recapture the moment when Jon Bon Jovi touched her hand.  I chose not to comment as my sarcasm would dampen her spirits, and initiate an argument on how Jon Bon Jovi is more compassionate and understanding than me.

But it was my silence that sparked off a discussion on how ignorant and jealous a man I had become.  My failure to comment suggested intolerance to all Jon Bon Jovi fans – please forgive my thoughtlessness.

I always wondered, do opposites really attract?  Perhaps they do, but it wouldn’t hurt if they shared the same enthusiasm for Bon Jovi.

Weight for me tomorrow. Paul

Paul Lambis is the author of “Where is Home?” – A journey of hilarious contrasts. 
For more information on Paul Lambis, and to order his book online,
visit www.paul-lambis.com