DAYS 191-195: Truth and Logic

“Truth” is most often used to mean in accord with fact or reality, or fidelity to an original or to a standard or ideal. The concept of truth is discussed and debated in several contexts, including philosophy and religion. Many human activities depend upon the concept, which is assumed rather than a subject of discussion, including science, law, and everyday life.

“Logic”, on the other hand, has two meanings: first, it describes the use of valid reasoning in some activity; second, it names the normative study of reasoning or a branch thereof.

But when “Truth” and “Logic” merge, the results could be mind-boggling.  “Logical Truths” are truths which are considered to be necessarily true. This is to say that they are considered to be such that they could not be untrue and no situation could arise which would cause us to reject a “logical truth”. However, it is not universally agreed that there are any statements which are necessarily true; here are a few which provide food for thought:

1. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

2. I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather; not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

3. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

4. Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.

5. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

6. We live in a society where pizza gets to one’s house before the police.

7. Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.

8. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

9. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

10. If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.

11. Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see a man without an erection, make him a sandwich.

12. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

13. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

14. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

15. Children: You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen years telling them to sit down and shut-up.

16. Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

17. My mother never saw the irony in calling me a “son-of-a-bitch.”

18. Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

19. The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

20. Evening news is where they begin with “Good evening,” and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

21. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

22. Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.

23. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

24. If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.

25. If four out of five people suffer from diarrhea, does that mean that one enjoys it?

26. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.

27. Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.

28. How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

29. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.

30. Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?

31. Whenever I complete an application, in the part that says "In the event of an emergency, please notify:" I put "Doctor.”  What's my mother going to do?

32. A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.

33. Why does someone believe one says, “There are four billion stars,” but requires proof when we say, “The paint is wet?”

34. The sole purpose of a child's middle name, is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.

35. Some people say, "If you can't beat them, join them.” I say, “If you can't beat them, beat them;” they will be expecting you to join them, so you will have the element of surprise.

36. I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.

37. Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and fifty for Miss America?

38. God must love stupid people. He made so many.

Weight for me soon. Paul

Paul Lambis is the author of “Where is Home?” – A journey of hilarious contrasts. 
For more information on Paul Lambis, and to order his book online,
visit www.paul-lambis.com